The "church hospitality blues" is a common refrain in those thousands of churches that don't know why they are withering. Fortunately, it's not hard to permanently alter the trajectory of the church hospitality ministry. An important first step is to recognize and utilize the power of narrative.
If you do that your church will become the warmest, most hospitable group a church visitor will ever meet.
Narrative is the internal story that determines how we see the world, the way we interpret life's experiences and tells us how we fit into life's grand structure. Each of us has our own, unique narrative that begins with the signals the world sends our way. These signals are reinforced by parents, our family and our friends. My personal narrative tells me who I am, what I'm good at, how others see me and why I am valuable (or not).
Churches, like most corporate entities, also have a narrative. It's shaped by experiences good and bad, by successes and failures, by the private narratives of thought leaders and by the collective history accumulated over many decades.
The beauty of narratives is that they are fairly easy to rewrite. When they are the results can be nothing short of miraculous. Dr. Timothy Wilson's book, Redirect: The Surprising New Science of Psychological Change, provides sociological research that demonstrates the power of rewritten narratives.
Similar to some applications of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, rewriting our narratives redirects our thoughts. By reframing our narratives with a fresh perspective we see things differently. Once discouraged people start to feel optimism which produces changes in behavior.
The biblical precedent for this is found in Proverbs 23:7, "As a he thinks within himself, so is he."
If your church struggles to retain visitors there's probably something wrong with the hospitality ministry. In my experience as an intentional interim pastor these churches struggle in large part because the corporate narrative is negative. The place to start is by leading the hospitality team through an exercise that rewrites the narrative.
Start with a 90 minute session for the whole hospitality team, including fresh recruits. Lead them in brainstorming answers to this question: "What comes to mind once you give thought to our church's hospitality ministry? A recorder should write the words and phrases that pop up on a whiteboard or a large easel.
When the energy begins to wane over this part of the meeting, choose one or two attention grabbing statements and have the group expand on them to add more detail.
At some point you'll sense that the brainstorm has run out of steam. At that point rotate and pick up one of the more troubling statements (e.g. "we have a hard time recruiting volunteer greeters") and then brainstorm different ways to rewrite that narrative (e.g., "people gladly volunteer when the understand how important it is").
Then facilitate a group discussion that explores different ways that this rewritten narrative might have beneficial impact on the hospitality team and the church at large.
Finally, divide the group into pairs to discuss a new narrative: "Our hospitality ministry delivers outstanding hospitality to church visitors." Give them thirty minutes to answer four important questions around this exciting story:
How will my service to the church be different in the future? What will church visitors experience from now on? What beneficial impact will this new narrative have on the whole church?Narratives are powerful. They determine the tunes we sing and hum to ourselves. Isn't it time your church stopped singing the "church hospitality blues"?
Love Is an Act of the Will, Not a Burst of Emotions Corrie ten Boom - The Roots of the Jerusalem Prayer Team Unspectacularly Supernatural Walking After Emptiness
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